The Wonderfully Blank Pages

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma.”

This Daily Prompt was from a few days ago, but I’m given it a go for today!
Something the most people probably don’t know about me….
Well, some people know about this, particularly my close relatives, but most people don’t know that I, Kelli, am addicted to journals.
There is something exhilarating about filling the wonderfully blank pages with my thoughts, findings and ideas throughout my days. I have a journal from middle school, from high school, from my years at Purdue, from my internship/summer in Chicago in 2012, from my summer in Boston in 2013, from my 12 days in Europe and I currently have one that I started when I began classes at DePaul. But also, I have one I write film/creative ideas in, I have one I write poetry in, I have one I write quotes in, I have one I write about my family in, I have one I make goal lists and write about milestones in, I have one I write about sound in, one I write about editing in, one that I draw in and one that I carry with me in my purse for notes on the go.FullSizeRender
Maybe this is too many…but some how I keep it straight. And I love it. My life is going to be well documented, and since about 2010, a lot of it is documented in cursive, because why not…it’s a dying art.
Now that people like my mom and my aunt know about my journal fetish…they buy me more. And sometimes I just can’t pass up a deal at TJ Maxx or Target…”Journal for $3.00! Yeah okay, I’ll use it eventually!”
My journals have sort of become scrapbooks as well. When I was in Boston I started taping in little memories of the places I went to go along with my writing. I’m the kind of person who likes to save silly stuff like a napkin from a coffee shop with its logo on it (don’t worry it’s unused) so I decided why not incorporate those things in my journals instead of having a box of stuff I don’t always remember where I saved it from.
It’s a strange bit of my life that not a lot of people know about, that’s for sure. But it’s a very important part that brings me so much joy. I get to read what my past self wrote (some of it really childish and goofy) and realize that I really am growing as a person, as a writer and as a creative thinker.
Cheers to all that write in journals, keep it up!

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We’re Not Perfect

I’ve realized today, I am too much of a perfectionist to write about something for ten minutes and be happy with it. I chose a topic 3 or 4 different times to write about and either got interrupted…so my thoughts got interrupted or I think to myself, “This sounds dumb, reset the clock.”
One reason I like to blog is because it challenges me. It tests my creativity, my writing, my thought process and other things I didn’t even realize, like my perfectionism.  I don’t like to fail, I hate the feeling of looking dumb or being judged and that is just stupid because the fact is this, it is going to happen. There is a 100% chance I am going to fail, I am going to be wrong, I am going to look like a complete idiot at some point, perhaps more than once a day. I just need to (wo)man up and deal with the fact that I can’t be perfect. I catch myself sometimes with that feeling deep in my stomach like someone is in there punching or squeezing something to remind me, “hey, you might be wrong” “you can do better” “why the hell did you just say that?” “you totally had food in your teeth for that whole conversation” then finally my brain catches up and is all like, “Kelli, you’re fine. You are human. You are overthinking this.”
So ladies and gents, I am not perfect and neither are you. So let’s be wrong , let’s fail, let’s look like an idiot because in the long run those moments won’t matter, they will fade, and having experienced those bad times we will appreciate the moments we are right, the times we succeed, and the times we feel like we are on top of the world even more.
Ready, Set, Done

Daily Post Life

We're Gonna Be Best Friends

It’s hit me. I’m already losing my childhood memories. I am twenty-two, I am still in school, I am in my “adulting” phase…there’s lots of things on my mind but I haven’t traveled to the past in a while. The topic for today is Imaginary Friend and the truth is I don’t remember if I had an imaginary friend. I feel like I was definitely the type of kid that would have an imaginary friend but he/she/it obviously didn’t leave a very big impression on me so maybe we didn’t get along, if he/she/it grew up along side me we definitely grew a part and are of different crowds in the world.
I do, however, remember my first real “BFF,” which now that I think about that, the forever part of our friendship may not seem to be true in the sense that we still hangout, but the memories…those will last forever.
On the first day of first grade I sat at the tiny desk with my name on it, a girl sat next to me at her tiny desk and the first thing I said to her was, “We’re gonna be best friends.” Wouldn’t ya know it, we became best friends. I was shy then too, I’m surprised I was so forward but apparently the tactic worked.
Me and this girl got our ears pierced together. We joined cheerleading together. We went trick-or-treating together. We ate stuff-crust pizza and we watched the movies Enough, Gothika and Wrong Turn more than the average person ever has.
Gosh, we used to pretend we were fishing in the ditch in front of her old house…we would catch fish (leaves) with our fishing poles (sticks)….that’s right we basically sat there in a ditch stabbing leaves with sticks..we had top-drawer imaginations. Also, I can never thank her enough for teaching me how to ride a bike, how to rollerblade…how to be a little adventurous. I was a big chicken as a kid and let’s face it I wasn’t that coordinated but having a friend who believed in me, that was nice to grow up with.
As time passed we branched out. In middle school and high school we joined different clubs, played different sports, had different friend groups. But the great thing was we were never hostile, we just drifted a part. Still today I think we can both look back at our friendship in fondness. We have friends in this world for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And even if it isn’t a lifetime, something from that person still stays with you…a lesson, a skill, a memory, something!
So thank you (if ever you read this, you know who you are), for being my first real friend. Thank you for finding my tooth in your front yard the time we were eating brownies on your front porch. I wish you and your wonderful family ever happiness and success in this world. And I am so sorry for the time I kicked that exercise ball out from underneath you and you fell flat on your butt.
Peace and love, my friend.

Daily Post Life

My Future Grand Slam

The World Series starts today…even though the Tigers didn’t make it this year, it’s still a good day!
I cannot imagine what it would be like to play in a such a series of games with so many fans and viewers counting on your every hit, pitch and play but to hit a walk-off home run…a grand slam no less…that is a feeling I hope to find some parallel to one day. A moment in time where you realize you won, you have achieved the ultimate achievement. At the “crack of your bat” you know, something great just happened. There is no word to describe your happiness, your pride or the weight that has just been lifted off of your shoulders. As you “round each base,” the audience (your family, friends, co-workers, etc.) continue(s) to cheer for you and they show how proud they are of you. Finally you reach home base…your team (whoever that may be to you) hugs you, high-fives you, lifts you up, celebrates with you and there is no better feeling.
The moment I picture this happening for me is the day that I become a true professional in the film industry, the day I watch a successful feature film on the big screen all the way through the credits, just to see my name scroll by. The butterflies flutter all through my body just thinking about this day.
…Of course winning an Oscar or major award would be unbelievable, but we’ll stick with my name in the credits as my first grand slam…you can get more than one in a baseball career so you can definitely have more than one in life.
Grand Slam

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