Adulting four-fold life

Strive To Be A Millionaire … in Friends

We build too many walls and not enough bridges.  – Isaac Newton

Morton Park, Wellesley, MA 2013

Bridge is a connection between one piece of land and another. One person and another. One person and a group. One group and another group.

In most situations, it is always better to build bridges than to burn or break them.

When a bridge gets too old or becomes weathered it may naturally fall apart. And that’s okay. A bridge, like a relationship,  exists for a reason, a season or a lifetime. But it all depends on where it is, what it is made of and who maintains it.

Luckily, we can rebuild bridges too.

In the past couple of years, I have focused a lot on myself and have let my bridges start to crumble. As a multipotentialite, a dreamer, an overthinker I lose sight of my relationships with my colleagues, friends, and family. I struggle to focus on one thing and become encompassed in the many skills I want to learn, problems I want to solve, places I want to visit, topics I want to explore and books I want to read. The social side of my four-fold life begins to dwindle … and my mental side takes over!

The truth of it is … is that we can’t truly reap the benefits of any of these things unless we have someone to share them with.

So I would like to apologize to those on the opposite ends of my bridges. I am going to try harder.

Today I read:

“I dare you to develop the fine art of finding, making and keeping friends by genuine giving of your time and personality to others.”

“…You can’t grow socially unless you help others grow also.”

~ William H. Danforth, I Dare You!

We mustn’t let our creativity, our career, or our stress keep us from being social. Share your thoughts and listen to others. In an act of reminiscence, networking, or just plain thoughtfulness.

Today I urge you to reach out to someone from your past or someone you see in your future. Give your time and personality to others because “A millionaire in money is nothing compared to a millionaire in friends.”

Whether it be a Facebook message, a text, a comment on a blog, an email, a phone call, or a good old-fashioned handwritten letter, the tiniest bit of thoughtfulness can make the world of difference.

Build them from scratch or rebuild and revamp. Take care of your bridges <3

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recommended reading:


four-fold life Inspiration

Building Your Legacy Through Reminiscence


“You have a four-fold life to live: a body, a brain, a heart and a soul . . . these are your living tools. To use and develop them is not a task. . . . It is a golden opportunity.”

~ William H. Danforth,  I Dare You!

Day to day, I try to focus on balancing a four-fold life by acknowledging the physical, mental, social and spiritual impacts and benefits of life experiences.  In many instances of Reminiscence Therapy research I am finding the benefits of the recollection of stories, life lessons, feelings, smells etc. in all four of these areas. Most of the articles recommend this therapy for patients who have dementia or Alzheimer’s  but I think it is important for all ages and variations of mental health.

Today I found an organization, by luck of the search, called LifeBio. They provide a service to help family members get to know each other in a way they didn’t realize they could.

Now, I haven’t used this service or done much more research on the organization, but I think the idea is wonderful. I found the post below in the LifeBio blog:

Storytelling is powerful and it is natural.  Why should it be encouraged?  Because it is also good for people’s health and sense of wellbeing.

Here is how LifeBio sees reminiscence touching ALL dimensions of wellness, and why it cannot be ignored as a tool to use with seniors at home, in senior living, assisted living, nursing homes, or with those who have memory challenges.  Besides unlocking a fascinating story, it leads to an amazing opportunity for engagement.

  • Physical – Activate the hippocampus area of brain where memories are stored.  “Autobiography for older adults is like chocolate for the brain,” said Dr. Gene Cohen in a conversation with Beth Sanders, Founder of LifeBio.
  • Spiritual – Deeply touch people as they share beliefs, values, life lessons, etc.
  • Occupational – This gives people an important job to do.  Creating a LEGACY.
  • Emotional – Joys and challenges are recorded and shared.  LifeBio has been found to increase happiness and satisfaction with life.  “Get it off your chest.”
  • Environmental – Life stories build a strong sense of community.
  • Intellectual – Life stories help people learn about themselves and about other people.  Fascinating new knowledge and people learn to listen.
  • Social – People form new bonds with their neighbors and become friends through the power of story.

And there they are, the four-fold and more. The one I found of particular interest is the occupational dimension. “Creating a LEGACY.” 

This is what Downright Ultimate is all about. A legacy is an important part of reaching ultimacy.  We strive to do things that we will be remembered by while we are becoming ultimate.

So let’s do this! If we remember the books that made us think, the toys that made us giggle, the songs that made us dance, the jokes that made us laugh, then we can share these things with others in hopes they will go on to share them too.

Legacy is being created before your eyes. Reminiscence and storytelling give us the opportunity to relive the best moments to pass on the joy and the worst moments to pass on the wisdom.

Think about filmmaking.  We watch many of the movies and television shows that we do because we feel like we’ve connected to the story. Filmmakers do this on purpose. They take memories of their own and add a taste of humor, a lovable best friend, an unexpected twist and we’re hooked. It makes us think, feel and relate.

Okay, you’re right, we won’t all become the next Speilberg, but we should tell our stories. And more importantly, we must listen to other people’s stories. When Grandpa says, “Back in my day …” don’t look away, Grandpa is about to drop some wisdom.

It may seem small, but the sharing of that one lesson or song or joke or quote can make a huge difference.

So now, I encourage you all to recall a time or an object in your life. Look for a time of peace, happiness, humor, adventure, surprise; Or if it’s an object, look for a special memento, an old record, an old photo, a game you used to play, a song you like to sing. Now go tell someone about it. Tell ME about it! Or better yet, blog about it! Tell a story that reminds you that you are a living, breathing, feeling being. Connect with yourself and your family or friends or readers.

Reminisce and enjoy!





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